I’m getting a hard-off

Being a business owner, mom and wife is not always easy.

Running my company basically requires that I have functional ADHD to juggle administrative, operations and sales/marketing responsibilities to keep my company’s ship afloat. My husband travels 4-5 days a week for his job, so making sure my little pumpkin is healthy, fed, cleaned, clothed, schooled, shuttled and nursed falls a little more on me. ¬†When my husband is home, making sure we have family time, social time and quality couple time can be a juggle.

I have days when it’s hard making the bacon, cooking the bacon and being the bacon. ūüôā

I found that I was saying multiple times a day to coworkers, friends and family “it’s hard ___(insert business gripes, mom woes and wifely grievances)” ¬†This “hard”-on attitude was not turning me on, it was turning me off…extremely off. ¬†I found that the more I said “it’s hard ___” the less productive, happy and healthy I was. This “hard” choice of language was becoming a disease. The negative emotions that came with this “it’s hard” attitude was killing any ability to have gratitude for my life and propel it forward.

So I got a hard-off. ¬†Removed that saying from my vocabulary. ¬†OK, I had days when I caught myself saying it “was hard to not say hard” but I eventually kicked the habit. My attitude of gratitude came back and my love of life re-emerged.

Sure, I have days that aren’t easy, but I also have a career (not a job) that is mine to steer. ¬†I don’t have a boss to report to, I work for a company with values and I collaborate with clients and coworkers I enjoy. ¬†For the most part, I work from home, in my sweatpants, on my terms. When I am out, I am traveling to cool places to speak or meeting with interesting people..again, on my terms. I have days when I want to have somebody else be the boss lady as the responsibility can be a lot on my brain, but I would never, ever, go back to working for anyone else ever again.

Being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. I never thought I would be able to have kids.  To now have this little light in my life, I never have a bad day since.  I had a seamless pregnancy, an awesome home birth, I have been able to practice attachment parenting and bond with my child and we have never had a day apart in over 2 years.  Motherhood means days full of magical moments and endearing experiences.  Working from home means that I have flexibility to shift my schedule if my daughter is sick, to have meals together or to break away for play.  Add to it all that my daughter is the best traveler in the world.  She has gone to every public speaking event I have traveled to so far.  How cool is it that I can do work I enjoy and travel with my child!?

After the end of my first marriage, I had zero interest in getting remarried. ¬†All I wanted was to grow my career, take gigantic bites out of life and eventually be a mother. ¬†I was proudly prepared to go on the Gloria Steinem dating plan, having wonderful life partners, but making my career the #1 focus (she eventually did marry which maybe was an omen). ¬†I remember vividly having lunch with my first husband who asked me how my dating life was going (Going well – I was dating really wonderful people but none that I had any interest of serious commitment). ¬†I was telling him how I planned to stay single and was looking into adoption. ¬†He said in an awesomely supportive way (as someone who knew me better than I know myself sometimes) something like “that would be awesome, and besides, good luck finding anyone who could keep up with you!!” ¬†I kid you not, within weeks, my darling gentle giant emerged, whisking me off my feet, keeping up with me and completing me. ¬†His travel schedule for work can be stinky, but with modern web technology, we text, talk and Facetime where ever he is. ¬†Just last night, Darling and Pumpkin had the sweetest Facetime chat. ¬†He in India and she in Santa Barbara. ¬†I watched them for over 30 minutes comparing fruit baskets (fun fact: bananas in India are much smaller!) The power of visual communications keeps our not-so-normal life connected. ¬†And, part of having a life partner who can keep up with me means that I need to keep up with him and that means accepting that his career requires him on the road.

‚ÄúWe are our choices.‚Ä̬†¬†‚Äē Jean-Paul Sartre

We have the power to choose happiness, career paths, friends, actions, responses, love and life.

My hard-off has been one of my biggest life turn-ons.  It took the darkness off hard days and shed light on the beauty surrounding me, remind me that I have the keys to my kingdom: professionally, personally and passionately.  <3

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